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Taking the risk of sounding more-than-a-bit strange - Nilly
September 7th, 2009
05:31 pm

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Taking the risk of sounding more-than-a-bit strange

[x-posted on b.org]

I'm going to do the "in the risk of sounding even more than a bit strange" thing again, if you don't mind, OK?

As b.org's "Beep Me" knows, I am getting married (no, it still doesn't seem real) in exactly one week. Which makes me (nope, totally not real) a bride.

Now, as it happens, in Judaism there is a lot of credit given to prayers by a bride. The idea is, since the couple starts a new life together, it's like they're sorta born again, like all their past sins are being erased, and they can start fresh, a completely clean slate. And so, their prayers are "easier" to filter through, to G*d or the universe or whichever you wanna call it. The hour of the actual ceremony is even nicknamed "an hour of willingness and mercy".

So a bride, sitting there, wondering what she was thinking about when choosing her dress, more often than not gets to have a list of people to pray for, to bless with good things (lots of singles asking for husbands/wives, of course, but also wishes for good health, or pretty much anything, really). Sometimes, people write down names of complete strangers, just because they believe in the strength of the prayer at that time, in that situation.

Now, I don't know what I think about all this, but I do know that if there's a way to spread joy and good will, then why turn it down? And then it occurred to me, if people may ask me to do it for strangers, I'm going to ask my friends (um, that's y'all, for the record, among others) if there's anything you want me to wish for you.

I'm not sure how to ask this - profile address? It's customary to say the name of the person, the name of their mother, and of course, what the prayer for them is about. If any of you think this may be a good idea for them, I would love to do it!

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From:sfmarty
Date:September 7th, 2009 03:08 pm (UTC)
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Oh Nilly, what joy. Yes, I have a name. My son, Nicholas and his wife, Deborah. Mother's name is Marta. I would love you to wish them health and joy.

I know your prayers will be looked upon kindly as you are one of the nicest persons I have ever met.
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From:nilly_madar
Date:September 8th, 2009 08:58 am (UTC)
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Oh, marty, but of course - Deb is constantly in my daily prayers, so it's obvious she - and her husband, of course - will be on my mind next week, as well.

It's so lovely of you, to wish for good things for your son and daughter-in-law, and not just yourself.

And thank you for your lovely words.
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From:nilly_madar
Date:September 8th, 2009 08:58 am (UTC)
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Susan, I would love to, and no details are needed if you're uncomfortable in giving them, no worries!
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From:jonquil
Date:September 7th, 2009 04:45 pm (UTC)
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I DIDN'T KNOW! Oh, how awesome. May you have many joyous years together; may you be as happy as I am with my husband. How lovely. (How have you decided on the hair issue?)

My son's name is Will; you know my name. If you would pray for his health and for the migraines to end, that would be a mitzvah.
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From:nilly_madar
Date:September 8th, 2009 09:02 am (UTC)
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Oh, don't you know that you and Will are daily in my prayers, as it is? *Of course* you're already on my list for next week!

And thank you for your lovely words. From what I got to read about your relationship with your husband, your wish is a wonderful one, indeed.

As for my hair, I'm going to cover it (which means, actually, most of it, but probably not entirely all of it). In fact, today I'm going to look for head-covers (hats, scarves and the like), and see if I can find anything that looks even remotely OK (I already tried several, and, um, no, not really). In the meantime, I'm keeping my hair long, but I sincerely have no idea how it's going to work. I guess I'll have to play it by ear.
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From:trudybooth
Date:September 8th, 2009 03:58 pm (UTC)
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Is it silly that I'm pleased that you won't cut off your wonderful hair?

Maybe you could find a giantly long wig...
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From:nilly_madar
Date:September 9th, 2009 11:37 am (UTC)
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Oh, no, I don't want any wigs, thankyouverymuch!

And I don't cut my hair, at least for the near future, because *he* likes it long. Almost all my friends started with covering long hair, and moved to short hair due to practicality and convenience issues. I have no idea what will happen to me, but at least for now, that's the plan.
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From:trudybooth
Date:September 9th, 2009 03:10 pm (UTC)
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Wigs are itchy at best. No fun.

How could he NOT like it long? I think I'd be bummed if I married someone with really awesome hair and it all got lopped off before I got to touch it much.

I've seen those lovely crocheted snoods on some women, but I'm guessing they don't work with super long hair.
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From:jonquil
Date:September 7th, 2009 05:46 pm (UTC)
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I completely forgot to ask!

What would be the proper form to pray for the two of you, and for your happiness? (That is, would your mothers' names be better?) I promise it won't be in the name of Jesus or the Trinity.
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From:nilly_madar
Date:September 8th, 2009 09:05 am (UTC)
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That's such a lovely question!

Whichever way works for you, will be mostly appreciated by the both of us. And I trust you completely, in terms of respecting our mutual faiths, with no need for any details. Thank you so much!
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From:forodwaith
Date:September 7th, 2009 07:56 pm (UTC)
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Wonderful news, Nilly. Many, many happy wishes to you and your husband-to-be!

I have a friend whom I would love to solicit prayers for, but I don't know her mother's name. I'll do some discreet sleuthing and get back to you, if I may.

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From:nilly_madar
Date:September 8th, 2009 09:05 am (UTC)
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Of course you may! That's exactly what I asked for!

And thank you for your lovely wishes.
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From:burrell
Date:September 8th, 2009 12:26 am (UTC)
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Ah Nilly. You are so very easy to love. I am so very happy for you getting married, but really? I think any man you love is truly blessed and I hope he thinks so too.

I would be grateful for prayers of health, esp for my mother-in-law, Ann, and my kids. I will ask DH for Ann's mother's name. My kids are Frances and Isaac, and their mother is, well, me. ;-)
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From:nilly_madar
Date:September 8th, 2009 09:06 am (UTC)
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Oh, thank you so much for your lovely words!

And I would be delighted and honored to include your family in my list for next week.
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From:larisa57
Date:September 8th, 2009 10:45 pm (UTC)
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Any prayers of pain-free-ness, or at least less pain, for me, would be greatly appreciated. (Yehudit Ruchama bat Rachael Miriam.) And if you could add something for Shayna Rifka bat Rachael Miriam -- I'm not sure exactly what, just that she can find whatever peace it is that she's looking for.
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From:nilly_madar
Date:September 9th, 2009 11:37 am (UTC)
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Of course, on both accounts.
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From:nilly_madar
Date:September 9th, 2009 11:38 am (UTC)
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Of course.

And thank you for the lovely wishes.
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From:noradeirdre
Date:September 9th, 2009 01:09 pm (UTC)
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Thank you for this opportunity, Nilly- it's like having a small part of your wonderful day.

If you could say a prayer for Tom to find peace with his family and joy in his career, that would be wonderful. His mother's name is Eva.

My own mother Joan is having knee surgery next week, and prayers to restore her mobility and to have her days free of pain would be wonderful. Her mother's name is Mary.

I love being a witness to and part of your long held traditions. Thank you.
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From:arliss
Date:September 10th, 2009 08:35 am (UTC)
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Nilly my dear! I wish you and your beloved all happiness and health for the very long time you get to spend together.

It's a lovely thing you're doing. My husband is having some health issues and a good thought would be welcome. His name is Borys and his mother's name is Natalia.
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